Island of Dr. Marvin Moreau
It's the light patter of rain on the window that wakes Dean first. Then, it's the slight chill from where it had been left open the previous night. finally, his alarm screams to life in a whirr of late 60's pop music and red LEDs. It's all he can do not to launch the thing across the room. Gingerly, he moves from the warm comfort of his bed and begins the journey downstairs to the kitchen.
He feels like toast today.
His housemate, Chris is already there, a mug of hot tea held cautiously between her hands. Steam gently wafting past her face. "Morning sunshine." she smiles.
Dean mumbles something back as he reaches for the bread bin.
"You've got post"
Dean stops, hand still outstretched.
"Post?"
"Post." Chris repeats "from the tourism board of Hawaii."
Post itself for Dean was strange, but post from the states? Interesting.
He continues picking up the loaf whilst simultaneously retrieving a knife from the draw.
"Have you opened it?"
"It's addressed to you Dean."
"That doesn't usually stop you."
A smirk begins to form. She slides the letter to him. using a knife to open the envelope, Dean scans the contents; 'Dear Mr Douglas, we're delighted to inform you - yadda, yadda - first prize in our package competition - all you have to do is spend the night on the..."
"What? Dean, spend a night on what?"
"All you have to do is spend the night on the island of Dr Moreau."
The pair arrived at the docks the next morning shortly after ten. Expecting to be the sole winner of the prize, Dean was surprised to find a group of 9 waiting in the lot specified by the letter. Dean groaned audibly.
"Oh, what's the matter now?" argued Chris
"Well just look at that lot, 3 of them have bloody Hawaiian shirts on."
"So? We are going to Hawaii."
"Yes, but that doesn't mean you have to dress like a pillock. Look, if you're able to tell how obnoxiously loud someone is from 30 feet away, I quite frankly would like to avoid them. Not spend an entire 24 hours with them."
"Don't be such a sourpuss, come on. It'll be fun, just think of the prize. I'm sure they're not terrible people, they'll just be excited."
Dean shrugs and rolls his eyes in an exaggerated manner "That's your reasoning behind everyone I take issue with. I tell you, if the captain of the ship came running down wearing nothing but his little white hat, you'd still find a way to make him out to be completely in the right."
"Oh do shut up, Dean. Look, if they're really bothering you that much, just don't speak to them, but at least be civil Dean, don't antagonise the holidaymakers."
"Ah, now then mate!" shouted one of the three men in a Hawaiian shirt.
"For gods sake" mumbled Dean.
The man approached Chris and Dean, quaking the dock with each step. "So, there you are, bag boy said we just had another two to come. I'm-"
'My god, this beast has got on socks and sandals. I can see his bloody toe poking out the end of his left sock, and that smell? Malodorous doesn't even come close. What fresh hell is this? Condemned to being trapped on an island with this ogre, likely to cause road accidents with the sheen on that scalp. Bloody hell.'
"is Dean. We're both just as surprised as you are about winning this award if I'm honest, isn't that right Dean?"
"Ah yes, yes, quite right Chris. Anyway, we aught to sort our bags and get this trip out the way with. We'll be seeing you"
" 'ts alright, mate. The bloke runnin' the ships just nipped off to get something sorted below deck, won't be able to get boarded for a little-"
"No, no that's quite alright, I'm sure we'll find it. Bye!" Shouted Dean as he briskly ushered Chris away from the man he deemed to be the most repulsive creature he had ever laid eyes on.
An hour or so later, Chris and Dean were welcomed onto the Major Tom. After a quick line of questioning, Dean found out the enigmatic Dr Moreau was quite the Bowie fan. A line of questioning which was rather quickly rendered redundant. Examining their cabin, which was laden with Bowie memorabilia. Each cabin was in fact designed in such a manner, each to represent one of Bowie's
persona's; Chris and Dean had the Stardust room.
"Chris... If you've forced me to go along on some space cult ocean orgy cruise, just know, when a man in spandex approaches you with a glittery whipping pole, I said I'd be plenty happy to just spend the night watching Battle star."
"Yes, Dean, I know. You've said this before. Just try and enjoy yourself, difficult a task as that may sound, I'm in need of a holiday so lighten up a bit. Ian's spoken to the captain and he said it should only be another few hours now."
"Alright, alright. I'll give it a go, but be prepared to hear 'I told you so' in a very smug tone if this turn's out to be the Kool Aid kind of trip. Right, just going to nip off to the loo"
Chris was setting out her things for the next few hours when she heard Dean scream shortly following a loud bang. Moving through to the hall she could hear Dean being his usual self.
"Who the devil are you? Honestly, I'm bound to have lost something important after that! What the hell were you doing skulking around outside our cabin?"
"S-s-sssorry sir, I- I was just inquiring ab-b-bout your b-b-bags. I'm the cab-bin b-b-boy is all. Dr Moreau was insistent that all of his guests are properly seen to b-before you arrive, comfort n'all's better for the b-body sir."
"Well beating your guests around the head with doors isn't very good for the damn body now is it?"
"Dean!" Chris interrupted, Dean took the sideline and began quietly reciting the alphabet. "I'm terribly sorry about him, we're all sorted with our bags, thank you."
"Oh, yes ma'am. Dr Moreau has asked all visitors to b-bathe in this salve, it's b-b-better for the activities, and if the lady and her sir would be so kind as to don these garments, I know Moreau would b-be very pleased."
Chris eyed the red spandex, rather appalled and slightly annoyed that Dean may be prancing around the cabin as smug as can be in a moment, she attempted to decline. However, just before she was able to turn him away, the cabin boy had scarpered away leaving the garments and package behind, accompanied with a note.
"Spandex sea orgy" Added Dean before Chris could hide the outfits.
"Oh, do shut up. You're not allowed to be smug until I see mercury's glittery rod. Anyway, there's a new note, this should be able to deter demented ideas of an orgiastic affair."
The pair eyed the note, "well he's definitely a bloody doctor". 'I welcome you to my domain, little spiders, to be eligible for my magnificent prize, I'm afraid there are some things I must ask of you all once present on my island. Number one, you all must prepare for the activities appropriately, which involves putting on the scent salve, and the hunting suits provided. Upon arrival, I must ask each of you to deposit all of your personal possessions into storage boxes which will be provided. Due to the nature of my work, I cannot allow the risk of information breaches you see. I look forward to meeting each of you, welcome to my red home."
"It's too far to swim back by now isn't it."
"Come on Dean, he lives on an island, I'm sure he's just happy-"
"Don't say it! Don't you bloody say it."
At that moment, the intercom came on across the ship. "I am delighted to inform each and every one of you, that we have arrived at the island, I hope you enjoy your stay."
He feels like toast today.
His housemate, Chris is already there, a mug of hot tea held cautiously between her hands. Steam gently wafting past her face. "Morning sunshine." she smiles.
Dean mumbles something back as he reaches for the bread bin.
"You've got post"
Dean stops, hand still outstretched.
"Post?"
"Post." Chris repeats "from the tourism board of Hawaii."
Post itself for Dean was strange, but post from the states? Interesting.
He continues picking up the loaf whilst simultaneously retrieving a knife from the draw.
"Have you opened it?"
"It's addressed to you Dean."
"That doesn't usually stop you."
A smirk begins to form. She slides the letter to him. using a knife to open the envelope, Dean scans the contents; 'Dear Mr Douglas, we're delighted to inform you - yadda, yadda - first prize in our package competition - all you have to do is spend the night on the..."
"What? Dean, spend a night on what?"
"All you have to do is spend the night on the island of Dr Moreau."
The pair arrived at the docks the next morning shortly after ten. Expecting to be the sole winner of the prize, Dean was surprised to find a group of 9 waiting in the lot specified by the letter. Dean groaned audibly.
"Oh, what's the matter now?" argued Chris
"Well just look at that lot, 3 of them have bloody Hawaiian shirts on."
"So? We are going to Hawaii."
"Yes, but that doesn't mean you have to dress like a pillock. Look, if you're able to tell how obnoxiously loud someone is from 30 feet away, I quite frankly would like to avoid them. Not spend an entire 24 hours with them."
"Don't be such a sourpuss, come on. It'll be fun, just think of the prize. I'm sure they're not terrible people, they'll just be excited."
Dean shrugs and rolls his eyes in an exaggerated manner "That's your reasoning behind everyone I take issue with. I tell you, if the captain of the ship came running down wearing nothing but his little white hat, you'd still find a way to make him out to be completely in the right."
"Oh do shut up, Dean. Look, if they're really bothering you that much, just don't speak to them, but at least be civil Dean, don't antagonise the holidaymakers."
"Ah, now then mate!" shouted one of the three men in a Hawaiian shirt.
"For gods sake" mumbled Dean.
The man approached Chris and Dean, quaking the dock with each step. "So, there you are, bag boy said we just had another two to come. I'm-"
'My god, this beast has got on socks and sandals. I can see his bloody toe poking out the end of his left sock, and that smell? Malodorous doesn't even come close. What fresh hell is this? Condemned to being trapped on an island with this ogre, likely to cause road accidents with the sheen on that scalp. Bloody hell.'
"is Dean. We're both just as surprised as you are about winning this award if I'm honest, isn't that right Dean?"
"Ah yes, yes, quite right Chris. Anyway, we aught to sort our bags and get this trip out the way with. We'll be seeing you"
" 'ts alright, mate. The bloke runnin' the ships just nipped off to get something sorted below deck, won't be able to get boarded for a little-"
"No, no that's quite alright, I'm sure we'll find it. Bye!" Shouted Dean as he briskly ushered Chris away from the man he deemed to be the most repulsive creature he had ever laid eyes on.
An hour or so later, Chris and Dean were welcomed onto the Major Tom. After a quick line of questioning, Dean found out the enigmatic Dr Moreau was quite the Bowie fan. A line of questioning which was rather quickly rendered redundant. Examining their cabin, which was laden with Bowie memorabilia. Each cabin was in fact designed in such a manner, each to represent one of Bowie's
persona's; Chris and Dean had the Stardust room.
"Chris... If you've forced me to go along on some space cult ocean orgy cruise, just know, when a man in spandex approaches you with a glittery whipping pole, I said I'd be plenty happy to just spend the night watching Battle star."
"Yes, Dean, I know. You've said this before. Just try and enjoy yourself, difficult a task as that may sound, I'm in need of a holiday so lighten up a bit. Ian's spoken to the captain and he said it should only be another few hours now."
"Alright, alright. I'll give it a go, but be prepared to hear 'I told you so' in a very smug tone if this turn's out to be the Kool Aid kind of trip. Right, just going to nip off to the loo"
Chris was setting out her things for the next few hours when she heard Dean scream shortly following a loud bang. Moving through to the hall she could hear Dean being his usual self.
"Who the devil are you? Honestly, I'm bound to have lost something important after that! What the hell were you doing skulking around outside our cabin?"
"S-s-sssorry sir, I- I was just inquiring ab-b-bout your b-b-bags. I'm the cab-bin b-b-boy is all. Dr Moreau was insistent that all of his guests are properly seen to b-before you arrive, comfort n'all's better for the b-body sir."
"Well beating your guests around the head with doors isn't very good for the damn body now is it?"
"Dean!" Chris interrupted, Dean took the sideline and began quietly reciting the alphabet. "I'm terribly sorry about him, we're all sorted with our bags, thank you."
"Oh, yes ma'am. Dr Moreau has asked all visitors to b-bathe in this salve, it's b-b-better for the activities, and if the lady and her sir would be so kind as to don these garments, I know Moreau would b-be very pleased."
Chris eyed the red spandex, rather appalled and slightly annoyed that Dean may be prancing around the cabin as smug as can be in a moment, she attempted to decline. However, just before she was able to turn him away, the cabin boy had scarpered away leaving the garments and package behind, accompanied with a note.
"Spandex sea orgy" Added Dean before Chris could hide the outfits.
"Oh, do shut up. You're not allowed to be smug until I see mercury's glittery rod. Anyway, there's a new note, this should be able to deter demented ideas of an orgiastic affair."
The pair eyed the note, "well he's definitely a bloody doctor". 'I welcome you to my domain, little spiders, to be eligible for my magnificent prize, I'm afraid there are some things I must ask of you all once present on my island. Number one, you all must prepare for the activities appropriately, which involves putting on the scent salve, and the hunting suits provided. Upon arrival, I must ask each of you to deposit all of your personal possessions into storage boxes which will be provided. Due to the nature of my work, I cannot allow the risk of information breaches you see. I look forward to meeting each of you, welcome to my red home."
"It's too far to swim back by now isn't it."
"Come on Dean, he lives on an island, I'm sure he's just happy-"
"Don't say it! Don't you bloody say it."
At that moment, the intercom came on across the ship. "I am delighted to inform each and every one of you, that we have arrived at the island, I hope you enjoy your stay."
Comments
Post a Comment